Cdr A.Perry, Chief Engineer-USS Aurora Borealis

Anniversary weekend over yet? Drinks and a trip to the Holodeck spa?

Brody's nightmares are starting to come back. It makes sense, with the anniversary of everything coming up. And Whitney mentioned that it was a high probability.

He doesn't remember it, this morning. But he definitely looks like he had a bad night.

I wish I could do something for him.

Thank you for my birthday cake, Shawn ♥

Liv and I went on a double date, yesterday, with our favorite guys. We stayed in and they made us dinner - best spaghetti I've had this side of San Francisco!

Still not sure where they found the stove, but it wasn't in the front room this morning.

Spent the better part of yesterday on the Holodeck, having a family outing for Brody's birthday.

We went to the beach and the boys did some fishing, while Liv and I built a sandcastle. After that, we met up with the Fowlers and went to a baseball game.

It was a really good day.

He's alive. He's safe.

He's coming home.

Less than a day in and I can safely say she got her daddy's eyes and her mama's temper.

I wish I could say I remembered any of it, but I honestly don't. I'm kind of glad I missed it, because from what I've heard, it was all rather dramatic.

My thanks to the medical staff, of course. And, for all the stink I raised about my tracker, it appears the thing actually did me a favor.

Poor Dr Hartwig doesn't realize he's going to be getting a lot of calls in the future, to sing me to sleep.

The kid's on her own!

Aunt Marty already sent Uncle Paul and Uncle Shawn to separate corners for fighting over her. ((I think she just wanted to have a turn and pulled rank))

I'm enjoying it, though... Gives me a chance to snuggle with Sammy without either of us getting kicked, for once!

Everything hurts, all the time; I'm tired, all the time; I spend more time in the head than I do at my station.

I swore I wouldn't have another man's hands on me, aside from medical staff, but I had to break down and hit up a Holodeck masseuse, because my back is killing me. I did start crying, at one point, but at least the pixels can't judge me.

I don't know if I can do another two months of this....

[her expression is blank, with a side of bitterness] I received a formal invitation to the memorial ceremony for the Ben Gardner crew.

Seven people still missing and they're ready to just close the book. Seven months is all you're worth? [she shakes her head] I won't go. I won't settle. [she glances down and takes a few breaths; looks at the camera] I'm not ready to give up on you, just yet. [there's a slight smile and she glances down again, as the baby has just kicked her, out of view] None of us are.

[timestamp about an hour later]
[she's clearly been crying, but the flush is clearing from her cheeks] If I don't go, though.. I should go for the families that did get closure, right? [she nods] I mean, that's the right thing to do. I can't believe I was being so selfish. [she shakes her head] It's one thing if there's no physical way to get there. I mean, shuttles work. But, my first thought should have been for the other families. [she makes a face] I need to go punch something.

[recording ends]

Based entirely on the way he takes care of me, it's clear Olivia will have the very best big brother in all of the known galaxy.

My thanks to Marty and Kurt. Also to the entire Engineering team.

Turns out I really did need a day off. I just didn't see it.