Personal log to Brody [Video]

2020-08-12 13:33
perryandsam: (grey)
[her expression is blank, with a side of bitterness] I received a formal invitation to the memorial ceremony for the Ben Gardner crew.

Seven people still missing and they're ready to just close the book. Seven months is all you're worth? [she shakes her head] I won't go. I won't settle. [she glances down and takes a few breaths; looks at the camera] I'm not ready to give up on you, just yet. [there's a slight smile and she glances down again, as the baby has just kicked her, out of view] None of us are.

[timestamp about an hour later]
[she's clearly been crying, but the flush is clearing from her cheeks] If I don't go, though.. I should go for the families that did get closure, right? [she nods] I mean, that's the right thing to do. I can't believe I was being so selfish. [she shakes her head] It's one thing if there's no physical way to get there. I mean, shuttles work. But, my first thought should have been for the other families. [she makes a face] I need to go punch something.

[recording ends]
  • ◾ Current Mood: grumpy
  • ◾ Current Location: quarters
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Personal log to Brody [Video]

2020-03-02 13:51
perryandsam: (grey)
[she's sitting on the floor of her small bathroom, leaning against the wall, and looks like she's been hit by a shuttle; matted hair and pale coloring, combined with a general tiredness]

I hope you're suffering. [she sighs] Okay, I don't hope you're suffering. But, if I could pass this on to you, I would. [she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly] I should save some of this so I can throw it at you, when you're back. [she smiles slightly]

[her eyes close as she feels another wave coming ; the feed cuts off, then comes back]

I changed my mind. I do hope you're suffering. [she shakes her head and turns off the recording]
  • ◾ Current Mood: sick
  • ◾ Current Location: quarters
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Personal log to Brody [Video]

2020-02-21 11:23
perryandsam: (green)
[she looks much better than the previous recording]

Okay. So. [she nods] Definitely pregnant. [she makes a face of resentment at him, but there's a hint of a smile; similar to a parent who wants to convey anger but is trying not to admit pride] I still don't know anything, but I have to tell Sam something. So, I'm going to sit him down, with Shawn, so I only have to say it once. [she takes a breath]

I hope you're okay. [she offers a sad smile] Love you.

[recording ends]
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Personal log to Brody [Video]

2020-02-19 09:42
perryandsam: (grey)
[it's dark, and she looks like she's been hit by a truck ; there's a long pause while she stares at something behind the monitor, then she lets out a breath]

I don't even know what to say, right now. I don't know what to feel. I just- [she glances down and swallows, then looks at the monitor again ; a thousand emotions are fighting to get out, but she's somehow holding it together] It's like waking up from the most vivid bad dream to find out I wasn't actually asleep. I don't know what's going on. I don't know where you are. But I know you're alive. [she shrugs] I just do. [she takes a breath] You have to be. Because you got me pregnant, you ass. And, if you were here, right now, you'd be grinning brighter than the damn sun. [she starts to smile but it immediately shifts and her breath hitches] So, you better turn up.

[the recording ends just as she loses control over the emotions]
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